As some of you may know, outside of what I do here at Redleg Nation, I also write about the Cincinnati Reds farm system over at RedsMinorLeagues.com. I’ve been doing that for 15 years now and it’s been a heck of a ride if I’m going to be honest about it. Along that ride, as long as I’m not forgetting anyone, the Reds have had 17 different affiliates in that span.
One of them is the now former Double-A franchise the Pensacola Blue Wahoos. They are now an affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, but I still know some people that work there – and that’s also where broadcaster Tommy Thrall was at before he joined the Reds radio booth – and follow them everywhere on social media. Minor league teams around the country are trying to do anything fun and creative that they can to try and keep some employees around and bring in some sort of revenue while dealing with the reality that it’s unlikely there’s going to be a minor league baseball season this year.
The Blue Wahoos have been working with some creative people, too. They have been serving take out food from the places within the stadium that would have been available had there been games, once outdoors dining was available they opened up their patio deck for some dining at the ballpark, and they even set up a disc golf course on the field.
But the greatest offer came this past week when they put their ballpark up on Airbnb for $1500 per night.
— Pensacola Blue Wahoos (@BlueWahoosBBall) May 23, 2020
You can see the listing here if you want to check it out.
But all of that got me to thinking….. What would you pay to rent out Great American Ballpark in a similar manner? You get to have your crew with you and you can enjoy the batting cages, the clubhouses, the dugouts, even the field for a game of sorts. Maybe you want to play video games on the video boards?
If a minor league stadium, granted a gorgeous one that’s been around for less than a decade, runs $1,500 a night – what would Great American Ballpark cost? $5,000? $10,000? More? How much would you pay for that? And let’s say you are Scrooge McDuck’s long lost nephew and inherited his coin vault, what is the thing you’d like to do more than anything else at the ballpark?
Are you and your buddies going to pull the tarp, turn on the hose and see who can slide across the infield the furthest? Home run derby, except you get to hit from second base instead of home plate? DOES REDZILLA COME WITH THE RENTAL?! Let’s get crazy and inventive here, folks. And Reds business operations…. make this happen. We all know it’s a perfect idea that in no way could ever turn out poorly.
“We all know it’s a perfect idea that in no way could ever turn out poorly.” I’d run the bases, take ground balls with Barry Larkin, shag flies, and of course take BP (with an aluminum bat). I’d pitch off the mound (to Johnny Bench), have a catch with Joey Votto or Trevor Bauer or Kevin Costner’s dad. I’d teach Billy Hamilton to bunt, get hitting tips from Annie Savoy, and set off the smokestacks fireworks. I’d set my playlist for the Friday night fireworks, call a few innings with Chris Welsh, and I’d slide into third, then home, head first. I’d come out of the dugout and head to the plate to my walk up music (Centerfield by John Fogerty? Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fear? Sargent Pepper? Lose Yourself by Eminem?), I’d steal second, I’d steal a home run from over the wall (probably need a trampoline for that one) and I’d sleep under the stars in the outfield grass after Montgomery Inn rubs and Grater’s ice cream. Priceless.
*Montgomery Inn ribs, of course
$5K,
Besides doing baseball items.
I would see if I could hit a golf ball like Adam Dunn his hit HR over the batter’s eye out of the ball park or could I only do what Aquino last year or Suarez when he hit it off the riverboat.
I’d see if I could hit the free pickup truck and then try to figure out how to get it down so I could drive it away…
What about stringing a zip line between the 1st and 3rd base foul poles? Homegrown fantasy league, batting cages etc. I’d go 10k.