Mahle Day.

We’ll see what happens.

Your Cincinnati Reds are now clear and away not in last place again. Can they maintain it? Will Mahle continue to consider life pretty ridiculous at this point? Will this city ever again see a sky not dumping sadness and hatred upon us? What about the dream last night I had where I was trying on clothes in the house I grew up in and they were mostly hand me downs and none of them were right for the occasion especially when one of my high school classmates showed up and told me I needed a bonnet for the wine restaurant we were going to? STAY TUNED.

Starting Pitchers

Tyler Mahle  4.33 1.25 70.2 73 2 7
Gerrit Cole 3.40 1.16 90.2 140 6 5


Tyler Mahle is from Newport Beach, California. Maybe that explains it.


Gerrit Cole is not from Hyde Park and yet his name is “Gerrit.” This explains nothing.

Actually, he is also from Newport Beach, California. I was there once. The beach is very pretty but it is also full of those kinds of shops that contain about 15 purses total which means you can’t afford to look directly at any of them.


I meant to link this yesterday but got distracted by being a teenaged girl about Raisel Iglesias. Here’s Lorenzen’s endearing power reaction from throwing the final out on Monday.

Starting Lineups


  1. Nick Senzel (R) CF
  2. Jesse Winker (L) LF
  3. Eugenio Suarez (R) 3B
  4. Derek Dietrich (L) 1B
  5. Yasiel Puig (R) RF
  6. Jose Iglesias (R) SS
  7. Jose Peraza (R) 2B
  8. Curt Casali (R) C
  9. Tyler Mahle (R) P


  1. Alex Bregman (R) SS
  2. Michael Brantley (L) LF
  3. Jose Altuve (R) 2B
  4. Josh Reddick (L) RF
  5. Yuli Gurriel (R) 3B
  6. Tyler White (R) 1B
  7. Garrett Stubbs (L) C
  8. Jake Marisnick (R) CF
  9. Gerrit Cole (R) P

News and Notes

-If the Reds win today, they will sweep a first-place team which hasn’t been swept since, like, the Grant administration. Keep this in mind the next time they struggle mightily to scrape together a run against the Giants.

-Here comes Jose Siri: He was promoted to the Bats last night.

-Every single thing about this, including and especially the very end, is proof of the existence of God: