Postponed. STUPID RAIN.
A double header will be played August 31st at 1:15pm ET and 7:15pm ET.
Don’t start with me today. I weigh one million pounds and am out of Advil, nobody likes me, there are no lightning bugs in my yard, and the humidity is one hundred million percent, thereby negating the warm weather I’ve been awaiting since the beginning of time. Now there’s some new guy we just drafted whose name sounds like a text abbreviation, Lolololololol or something. He will disappoint, no doubt.
Maybe I’ll come back in and fill in cheerful life-affirming content at some point in the second inning. But I doubt it. You’ll get semi-ironic headlines and that’s about it and you’ll like it.
Starting Pitchers
| Pitcher | ERA | WHIP | IP | SO | W | L |
| Anthony DeSclafani | 4.97 | 1.34 | 54.1 | 55 | 2 | 3 |
| Dakota Hudson | 3.94 | 1.58 | 59.1 | 42 | 4 | 3 |
REDS
We’re probably going to lose.
POOPING BIRDS
This pitcher, judging by the name, is either a pole dance instructor or the latest baby name trend out of Hyde Park.
Bullpen
Don’t do an image search for the word “bullpen.”
Do. Not.
Starting Lineups
REDS
- Nick Senzel (R) CF
- Joey Votto (L) 1B
- Eugenio Suárez (R) 3B
- Derek Dietrich (L) 2B
- Jesse Winker (L) LF
- Yasiel Puig (R) RF
- Jose Iglesias (R) SS
- Tucker Barnhart (S) C
- Anthony DeSclafani (R) P
POOPING BIRDS
Their Majesties the St. Louis Cardinals, apparently having missed the memo not start to with me today, have not yet deigned to provide their starting lineup by the deadline, so whatever. They ain’t care so I ain’t either.
Oh wait, look who decided to show up right before I hit publish. OH WOW THANKS CARDINALS WE’RE SO HONORED TO BE IN YOUR HOLY PRESENCE.
- Matt Carpenter (L) 3B
- Paul DeJong (R) SS
- Paul Goldschmidt (R) 1B
- Marcel Ozuna (R) LF
- Dexter Fowler (S) RF
- Kolten Wong (L) 2B
- Matt Wieters (S) C
- Harrison Bader (R) CF
- Dakota Hudson (R) P
News and Notes
-If you would like to cast a rude, anti-feminist, judgemental assumption about my mood based on the natural cycles of womanhood, you would probably be correct.
The Major League Baseball draft is now officially completed. There were 40 rounds. Doug Gray has scouting reports and more on all 40 players that were selected by the Cincinnati Reds.
I enjoy the writing on this site but you are by far the most entertaining. Whenever I see your name attached to something I start reading and am never disappointed.
ALL OTHER REDLEG NATION WRITERS: (construct thoughtful articles based on facts, stats, study, knowledge of game, careful consideration)
ME: Guys I think my period’s coming
PS thanks 🙂
Homeruns have been killing Disco. If he keeps the ball out of the stands I say Reds have a great shot of winning today and taking the series. Let’s beat these Birds!
this seems violent
I <3 you Mary Beth… Josh the Pilot, if in town, should be there with some Haagen Dazs soon… Or hopefully he will.
Big headache due to the brain freeze. That won’t help at all. Take is slowly, just as you said.
Well thanks. But Josh The Pilot is wisely about five states away at the moment.
Haagen Daz, along with Godiva, is one of the biggest letdowns of my life. Graeters all day every day.
There you go. One of the few ice creams on the planet worth the calories: Graeters mint chip or CC chip and UDF cookie dough. Wicked.
Well, judging by the pole dancer instructor reference – we should get plenty of singles tonight.
Keep it up MB, you had me at Nick LOL.
Well done.
(people applauding gif)
That would be great!
All Hail MBE!! I think the Reds have to be atleast 4-5 games over .500 when you lead the way!! Lets keep it going!!
I asked for Puig on RLN a few years ago and it happened. I also asked for Avi Garcia last year when he was hurt and then he came into GABP and went off. In 3 games he went 6-13 with a double, 3 bombs, and 2 walks. In 2017 he hit .330 with 18 hrs. He’s hitting .300 with 11 hrs (.892 ops) this year. He’s even 6 of 8 with steals this year! He’s on a 1 yr deal w/Tampa for 6 mil and he’ll be 28 next week. Tampa is going to the playoffs so they won’t deal him mid-season, but he’s really a guy to target for next year! He’s much closer to Winker then Puig defensively, but we need consistent runs!
Check that. He got 3.5 mil with Tampa. He’s had some injury issues, but then again so has Puig in the past. What would Avi demand for next year? My guess is 2 yrs for $22 mil?
Even the weather knew not to try me today #Hail
MB you are pure gold. I am disappointed that my bullpen image search did not end up on pinterest or the hub.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO
You could be my daughters’ twin. Your post would serve better the day after a loss. Let’s get some positive mo goin, gang!!! Go Reds!! I hate the Cards!! Beat em to death!!
You daughter must be quite the delightful beauty.
This game has been postponed. No make up date as of yet.
That’s a wipeout folks.
They knew better than to start with me. Told you so.
Thank you.
Please bring Advil
That is condemning one’s child to a lifetime of khaki and arugula.
Well thanks, but I refuse to menstruate more often to make this happen on an increased basis.
Man, no baseball and I had to cancel my Cuba cruise today. Bummer.
one of these things is worse than the other
Yep. I just finished today’s Game Thread about 15 minutes ago. Made the SP stat charts easy, I’ll tell ya that.