We’re at that point in the season at no one seems to be able to agree about which point in the season at which we are. Is it too early to make predictions? Is it too late to panic? Where are we, exactly?

I’ll tell you where we are: Here.

Starting Pitchers

Tanner Roark 3.27 1.427 41 37 3 1
Kyle Hendricks 3.19 1.28 42.1 34 2 4


Tanner’s ERA is 15 and that’s all anyone has to say about that.

UPDATE: I actually do have more to say about that, and what I have to say is this: It’s not 15. It’s 3.27. I was using a daily projected lineup site instead of MLB.com and that’s what happens when you gamble, kids.

Thanks to Pete the Reader for correctly pointing out that I am, in fact, an idiot.


Kyle Hendricks sounds like the name of a NASCAR driver. At first I assumed I was only thinking this because I’m currently reading a book by a journalist who spent a year traveling to NASCAR races and winds up spending pretty much the entire manuscript describing the various women he sees around the garages, but no, dude took a wrong turn in life and is incorrectly not a NASCAR driver.


The Cubs’ works usually, and the Reds’ works sometimes.

Starting Lineups


  1. N Senzel (R) CF
  2. J Votto (L) 1B
  3. E Suárez (R) 3B
  4. J Winker (L) LF
  5. Y Puig (R) RF
  6. D Dietrich (L) 2B
  7. J Iglesias (R) SS
  8. T Roark (R) P
  9. T Barnhart (S) C


  1. J Heyward (L) RF
  2. K Bryant (R) 1B
  3. J Báez (R) SS
  4. W Contreras (R) C
  5. K Schwarber (L) LF
  6. D Bote (R) 3B
  7. D Descalso (L) 2B
  8. A Almora (R) CF
  9. K Hendricks (R) P

(UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Thanks to matthew The Reader for pointing out that I am an ever bigger idiot than either I or Pete originally thought, and letting me know the Stupid Cubs lineup was also incorrect. This is why I wasn’t asked to do game threads last year. I’m pretty sure somebody died and that’s why you have to Google your own crap when I’m in charge here.)

News and Notes

-Today on FB one of my friends asked me (and all of her other friends) what color her new roof should be. I considered it carefully and made my recommendation. Then I felt sad. Why should Heather be the only one benefiting from my wisdom and perception? Can I help you guys with something? Do you have any questions? Perhaps I can offer you parenting advice from my 42 years of parenting no babies and choosing Mother’s Day brunch as the optimum time to regale my godson of the tale of how I was banned from an entire Notre Dame male dorm for two weeks? Post them in the comments and I’ll see what I can do.

-Thom was gone for six games. Thom is now back. It’s Stupid Cubs Thom, too.