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Well, that was some scary shizz last night, fam. The young season’s “They Tried to Blow It But Did Not” pile grows ever higher. Tipsy games ain’t where it at, but as long as they finish in our favor, I’ll take what we can get. The best news is that the Reds are increasingly showing the realization that runs in baseball came come from means other than depositing the ball outside the stadium and engaging in awesome all-team brawls over the matter. The Entenmann’s cheese-filled crumb coffee cake currently in my face agrees with me.
Starting Pitchers
| Pitcher | ERA | WHIP | IP | SO | W | L |
| Tanner Roark | 3.60 | 1.55 | 20.0 | 20 | 1 | 0 |
| Mike Soroka | 1.80 | 1.20 | 5.0 | 6 | 0 | 0 |
REDS
Tanner Roark was born when I was in the 3rd grade. I’ll allow it. There’s a dude in the MLB who was just drafted who was born in 2001 and I don’t care to think about that.
BRAVES
This Sorka fellow seems troublesome. He is from Canada, but not the weird part. He was born in Calgary, the pretty part. I wonder if he’s friends with Michael Buble and William Shatner and Votto. People from Canada automatically know all the other people from Canada, so I’ll make sure to ask him about it if we ever meet.
Bullpen
Our bullpen is kinda melty, but last night the Braves’ was even meltier. I’m OK with that.
Starting Lineups
REDS
THE NOT REDS
News and Notes
The biggest breaking story out of yesterday’s game was the fact that the Puig guys with the horse heads are back, and they somehow found dates:
Right field has been taken over by a Puig party. ?#BornToBaseball pic.twitter.com/weIEg2xMjd
— Cincinnati Reds (@Reds) April 24, 2019
Thank you to the amazing fans in right field today! I see you!! ? #puigyourfriend #fans #cincinnati #love #baseball #mlb pic.twitter.com/QhpavgXCq7
— Yasiel Puig (@YasielPuig) April 24, 2019
Actually, these guys are tremendous and I want to party with them. If you’re gonna live the Power Stacks life, bring three friends to be the U-I-G.
In other important Puig news, THERE IS A BABY MINATURE THERAPY HORSE IN THIS WORLD NAMED AFTER HIM
ALSO BREAKING: Sonny Gray is a total cutie pie.
Sonny Gray wants to figure out a way to pitch deeper into games for the @Reds.#BornToBaseball pic.twitter.com/q0DcWsLKo5
— FOX Sports Ohio (@FOXSportsOH) April 24, 2019
NOT NEWS BUT FURTHER EVIDENCE THAT JOEY VOTTO IS A GIFT UNTO ALL HUMANITY:
More proof that Joseph Daniel Votto is the best!#BornToBaseball pic.twitter.com/CFrtvyhkJM
— FOX Sports Ohio (@FOXSportsOH) April 24, 2019
I leave you with an epic human drama in three acts:
I posted this in last night’s game recap and didn’t see an answer, so I will post it again, sorry. 🙂
I was at the game last night and noticed something that was (I thought) weird. During pitching changes Puig would go into the Reds bullpen. Anybody else see this or know why? My brother said, “I think he has the trots.”
Oh yeah btw guys Winker and also Ervin are starting today. Way less important than the baby horse though
people who aren’t are not my friend
I like Sonny’s hair. He has nice hair and doesn’t look like a db in a backwards baseball cap. These are rare accomplishments. Let’s put him in the Reds HOF.
Votto and Suarez are the best hitters on the team, and I’d rather have Votto hitting leadoff than Suarez. Those guys back-to-back are difficult to deal with.
I think Senzel comes in and probably leads off, pushing Votto and Suarez to 2-3. Add in Puig and Winker at some combo of 4-5, and the Bell has probably created the most optimal lineup he could possibly create by actually having the best 5 hitters hit 1-5…something his predecessors consistently failed at doing.
The traditional speedy/slappy leadoff hitter that Sliotar is referencing doesn’t really exist anymore. We tried to groom one and it didn’t work.
Actually Sliotar didn’t reference the speedy/slappy type so that’s my bad. Still, there isn’t really another guy on this team suited to leadoff other than Winker, so I’m not sure who they are supposed to “groom” until Senzel is with the club.
I’m very sad the horse head guys missed that catch
I do not like this baseball game ANYMORE
Grand slam inning coming up
Chris Welsh just described Joey Votto as “squashed down,” in case you’re wondering how this ballgame is going
Might be a tough loss allowing only 2 runs in a game started by Roark
Offense just cannot get it going
Garrett impressive again. 2 solid innings
Is it me or does Dietrich look like he just stepped out of the dugout for the 1986 Mets? 🙂
YES I AM ALL THAT MATTERS HERE
I’m already on to tonight’s episode of Property Brothers
POOP
Everybody Poops.
This is the second time today that I’ve gotten to say this and I’m not sure I’ve been living my best life until today.
No! Put him back #3 where he is comfortable. He as much as said that a few days ago. Time to revert to lineup order resembling last year. What do they have to lose?
This is one of the many benefits of following the Reds. You tend to hit your daily poop-related vocabulary quotas early and often. It’s enriching for both young and old.