The Washington Generals Cincinnati Reds face off against the Brewers tonight in game two of the Battle of Futility at Miller Park in Milwaukee.

The Reds, losers of 11 straight (and counting!), have their opponents right where they want them, having lulled everyone into a false sense of security with their sieve-like defense and limp, flaccid offense. Any day now, they’ll open the floodgates and let loose a torrent of runs so potent it will make the famed Murderer’s Row of the ’27 Yankees team look like a bunch of engineers trying to play t-ball on the side of a hill during a snowstorm in January.

That’s what’s going on here, right? They can’t really be this bad.


The Redlegs send out Alfredo “Innings Eater” Simon, who has an ERA so high it qualifies as a quarterback rating, and who, over the last 30 days, ranks 109 out of 150 major league pitchers in the number of actual innings eaten. His ERA over that span: dead last. In all of major league baseball.

Simon spoke with ESPN about his recent track record. “I’m not doing anything different,” Simon said. “I have to focus and keep my head up.”

If the definition of insanity means doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results, Simon’s plan to “keep his head up” almost makes you wish John Lamb could come out again tonight for a repeat performance, doesn’t it?

Luckily for the Reds, the Brewers send out Chase Anderson, who currently leads his team in runs surrendered, and he lost the Reds earlier this year, 9-5, with Simon pitching against him. Unfortunately, for the Reds, Chase recently took a no-hitter into the eighth inning against the juggernaut that is the Chicago Cubs (it still feels weird saying that). The rookie appears to be on the verge of “figuring things out,” which is a good place to be when facing one of the worst offenses in the majors in the Cincinnati Reds.


No lineups available as of this writing


Despite all the negativity, Adam Duvall seems to be meeting and exceeding expectations thus far. He’s leading the team with 10 homeruns. Sure, his OBP is under .300 and, yes, he almost never takes a walk. But he’s young and he’s got room to improve.

See! I’m not completely negative!

Word ‘round the campfire was Joey Votto’s mother was on hand last night to take selfies with and hand out Votto baseball cards to fans.

There’s another good thing!

Now, if only the Reds would consider employing Vontaze Burfict as a potential starter, they might get some traction. He probably wouldn’t win, but the intimidation factor is enough to make it interesting. Plus, he’d probably fare better than JJ Hoover, right?


If I were a betting man (and I promised my wife I would stop), I’d put real, green dollars on the Reds losing streak making it an even dozen this afternoon in Miller Park. The Reds have the Rockies after this series. Their chances of stopping the slide drop significantly after today and tomorrow.

Let’s hope they can pull this one out.

73 Responses

  1. DHud


    One of the best things I’ve seen on here

  2. ohiojimw

    Here is a lineup courtesy of C.Trent (@ctrent); but does it really matter?

    #Reds lineup: Cozart 6, Votto 3, Phillips 4, Bruce 9, Duvall 7, Suarez 5, Holt 8, Barnhart 2, Simon RHP

  3. sezwhom

    The Washington Generals….errrr…Cincinnati Reds face off against the Brewers tonight.

    That’s comedy! Per Duvall, he’s been the best surprise in a dismal season but he’s also 27 years old. Not that young but yes, still room to improve. At least we’ve put to rest that never ending LF question. Now as for the bullpen….

    • Hotto4Votto

      Along with Duvall, Straily has also been a pleasant surprise. Of course, he has that nasty habit of pitching well enough to make me think we may have a shot at winning…but then I remember the bullpen.

  4. Scotlykins

    Well I hope our “flaccid” offense becomes firm.

  5. james garrett

    Duvall was given a chance to play along with Suarez.Others need to be given that same chance and lets see how they do.If it happens I see us close to 500 after the break if our pitchers return from the DL.

  6. preacherj

    Dead last in ERA and doesnt feel the need to make any adjustments? Move along, nothing to see here.

    • preacherj

      Oh, he needs to watch keeping his head up with all those rockets shooting back up the middle

    • Scotlykins

      We are also next to last in baseball in hitting and OBP. Great combination.

  7. Jack

    Do you think we have a shot at the Phillies and their 23 consecutive losses? I mean it’s a year of records for the Redlegs, so let’s go for the big one.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Certainly a shot, but still very unlikely. Will barely be half way there after today’s game. (Assuming we can’t win a Simon start)

    • vegastypo

      You’d think at some point, the Reds would run into a starting pitcher who they could pile up some runs on, but with the Reds’ bullpen being so bad, who’s to say that any lead could be safe? If any team could lose 23 in a row, it’d be these Reds.

  8. james garrett

    Does anybody think our hitters are told how few pitches they see per plate appearance?Maybe its just me by I find it odd that opposing pitchers take so few pitches to record 3 outs.Maybe it doesn’t matter but today we get a hit in the first and four batters come to the plate and it takes only 10 pitches in the inning.I mean its hard to draw any walks at all at that pace.

  9. DHud

    There’s no way the Reds can not remove Simon from the rotation after today, especially with Moscot ready to go again

  10. Patrick Jeter

    We’ve just witnessed the worst play of the season, folks.

    Simon at bat, bases loaded, 1 out. Any manager with a brain (Yes, I said it) would have his pitcher take EVERY SINGLE PITCH to guarantee Cozart a chance with the bases loaded.

    So, of course Simon swings at both pitches, with the blessing of his manager, and grounds into a double play.

    Losing is one thing, making calls that anyone with a brain shouldn’t make is another.

    Not sure I’ll make it…

    • ohiojimw

      This falls into the same category Pinson and I were discussing here very late/early about yesterday’s game and the baserunning. Price can’t make this team a winner but he also is demonstrating he doesn’t help them a bit and at times actually hurts the cause with his calls/ strategies.

  11. james garrett

    Nobody on this team take pitches outside of Votto.Simon should have been smart enough not to swing but the reality is there hasn’t been any accountability on this team for a long time.

    • Indy RedMan

      Looking back its amazing this organization ever won 90+ games! I remember seeing Cueto swing at a 2-0 pitch….Stubbs many times with nobody on & hacking away on a 2-0. They were halfway decent on the bases when Rolen was here but its gotten worse every year! Ever since Moneyball came out you can see different teams trying to incorporate that into their philosophy but not the Reds! Rolen was the last leader they had in the clubhouse as well. I think Cairo tried? Joey has picked up some Spanish to communicate better but he’s sort of a intellectual loner and its hard to lead when you’re hitting .210? #2 pick coming up and hopefully we can get that infielder from Tennessee? Twins/Braves both won last night so they could have a good shot at a #1 or #2 pick next year. I doubt it could ever happen for the Reds but maybe they could get 2 guys like Bryant/Schwarber that can skyrocket thru the minors and be forces in the lineup before Votto is completely washed up?

  12. james garrett

    Duvall needs to hit 4th with Suraez 2nd.Phillips/Bruce can hit 7th and 8th because they can’t hit anymore period.Better yet bring up Peraza and Winker and let them play 2nd and right field.Good grief we are hitting against a batting practice pitcher.

    • Jack

      Duvall doing it in the field and at the plate.

    • Zazzmambbfan

      I wouldn’t be battling Suarez 2nd anytime too soon. He 0 for his last 20-something.

  13. vegastypo

    Just turned on the game in time to see Duvall’s catch. For a supposed defensive liability, he makes all the plays.

    • 666wolverine

      move onto 3rd on a fly out also!!

  14. vegastypo

    I probably would have criticized Holt if he had been thrown out a second with the Reds down a run, but gotta love the guy’s hustle.

  15. Scott E. Disney

    Interesting to find out Gritty Skip is somewhat the reason behind Cozart’s hitting philosophy this year. Maybe Skip is a better coach than hitter? ☺

    • Jack

      How many Reds pitchers would have known to drill the batter so the runner has to go back to 3rd? Probably none. Thats,a team thats been well coached.

      • 666wolverine

        I thought the exact same thing!!!!

  16. vegastypo

    Ought to be interesting to see if Simon tries to retaliate in the bottom of the inning.

    • Jack

      Milwaukee won’t view it as retaliation but as just another Reds pitcher who csnt throw a strike.

  17. Scott E. Disney

    So was Holt stealing home or was it a squeeze play? Also, that strategy – the squeeze or steal home – was better than what happened w bases loaded.

    • Jazzmanbbfan

      There was 2 outs. Can’t believe they would have a squeeze on as Simon would have to beat it out for a hit.

    • Scott E. Disney

      What confused me was that Simon was showing a bunt, however maybe it just looked that way from him dodging the pitch.

  18. seat101

    It looked nothing like a squeeze play.

    Simon was displeased with the run or not the opposing pitcher.

    • Jack

      Same here. I’m glad he drilled the pitcher. That’s the way it should be.

    • DHud

      I want to see Price get angry. Show some emotion for once

  19. Indy RedMan

    I can’t see the game? Did Simon go prison style on someone?

  20. vegastypo

    The umps have to know that baseball’s unwritten rules just collided with the umpire’s best judgment. Maybe that’s why they let Price argue for so long. …Batters are not allowed to throw at hitters, and Simon did, in the umpire’s judgment, and he got tossed. But is there any doubt that the pitcher was throwing at Simon? Sure, he was. But that was considered part of the game because he was trying to prevent a run. Anyway ….

  21. seat101

    Jeff Brantley, reading between the lines, is not a big fan of the Cincinnati Reds pitching coach.

  22. Indy RedMan

    Lucroy’s 12th career HR vs the Reds…..hasn’t hit anymore than 6 against anyone else?

  23. Creigh Deeds

    Time is up. DFA Simon already.

  24. DHud

    Really? We’re 2 batters into the inning before Thom realizes there’s a new pitcher in the game? Keep up that ignorance and he’ll be batting lead off for these Reds pretty soon…

    • DHud

      This is the first season he’s been with the Reds

      • DHud

        Ah, got ya…

        Your joke
        My head

  25. Indy RedMan

    Atlanta is winning late. Twins roughed up Felix Hernandez last night and actually play hard and compete on most nights. I think if the Reds keep Price all year then this rudderless ship will get us the #1 pick next year. Are there any can’t miss Harper/Trouts out there next year?

  26. james garrett

    Its worth repeating this team can’t hit.

  27. james garrett

    You can thank me for those 5 runs we just scored.I knew if I said we can’t hit we would.So again we can’t hit.

    • Jack

      Lol. I was thinking the same thing when you typed it. Nothing like throwing one right down the middle to our best hitter.

  28. David

    And now, the countdown is on as to how long it will take for the Reds’ bullpen to surrender the lead back to Milwaukee.

  29. Indy RedMan

    Price has to get Duvall within a spot or 2 of Votto to make sure he has the most chances to hit with someone on base? This isn’t rocket science? Duvall has 12 doubles/11 hrs now and only 25 rbis. The guy has huge power!

  30. DHud

    One of the Reds announcers (I think Thom?) started to go on a tangent about *how terrible of a person* Braun is.

    Glad there’s at least one person out there who shares my opinion of him

    *these words were not actually stated but are my interpretation

    • David

      Terrible person? Did he kill someone? No, but he is like many professional athletes, who are children in adult bodies. We love to watch the sport and root on our heroes on the field, but sometimes when you look closely, they are not quite the ideals we would hope they are.

      • DHud

        Got caught cheating.
        Lied about it.
        Ruined someone else’s life to cover his cheating and lying.
        Got caught cheating again.

        Terrible person

      • BigRedMike

        What are Thom’s thoughts and yours on Simon?

      • DHud

        Can’t speak for Thom.

        Not as informed on Simon’s situation so not fair to jump to conclusions, but doesn’t sound good

        As an innings eater tho, he’s bad

    • vegastypo

      The second baseman was touching second base at one point, but when he actually caught the ball, he had broken contact with the bag, runner is safe at second, Duvall out at first, Reds lead 7-6

  31. Scott E. Disney

    REDS WIN!!!!!!! ☺🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉

  32. Eric The Red

    “An ERA so high it qualifies as a quarterback rating.” That’s some seriously good writing.

    Regarding the game–which I’ve just seen, a couple of days late–Simon was correct to do what he did. If the umpire didn’t want things settled “on the field” he should have warned the teams after the intentional plunking of Simon made it Brewers 3HBP, Reds pitchers 0HBP. That was a strange moment to employ the umpires’ rarely used “I can throw you out with no warning” power. Finally, I’m glad we won, but I hate both the removal of the neighborhood play and the tricky-tack reviews on plays like that and slides when the ball beats the runner to the bag. (And how does removing the neighborhood play–forcing fielders to stand on the bag–improve safety?)