With news today that Manny Parra has been placed on the disabled list, a number of people have asked the legitimate question: Why did the Reds wait so long to trade Parra? That seems like a reasonable inquiry, so we combed the internets and found not just one, but the ten best reasons.
Here’s the Redleg Nation Top Ten reasons why Manny Parra wasn’t traded before the All-Star Game:
10. Had a deal with Cubs until Walt Jocketty remembered the time Theo Epstein stole his lunch money.
9. Reds were in listening mode.
8. Brass didn’t want to see Parra pitching for another team in the celebrity softball game.
7. GM didn’t want to make a deal under influence by other people around the club.
6. Analytics department was needed during FanFest as driver for Mike & Mike’s limo.
5. Walt Jocketty’s Florida condo was unavailable due to retrofit for latest dial-up modem technology
4. Reds have been negotiating another multi-year, multi-million dollar contract with Parra.
3. Owner didn’t want blockbuster Parra deal to distract from Home Run Derby.
2. Organization has been considering moving Parra to starting rotation because everyone knows that’s where the best left-handed pitchers in the organization belong.
1. GM kept confusing other teams by referring to Parra as former Cardinal Manny Aybar.