From The Onion:

CINCINNATI—Trailing the first-place Cardinals by only 15 games with less than a week to go in the regular season, the Cincinnati Reds cut their magic number down to 17 with a win over St. Louis Tuesday. “I think we’ve got the momentum now to wrap up the NL Central and go on to win the pennant,” manager Dusty Baker said at a press conference following the game. “And though it’s certainly not our strategy, we could always pick up the wild card spot, just as long as the Rockies and Braves lose to each other seven times tomorrow.” Baker added that the tight NL Central race is “great for baseball.”

Heh.

10 Responses

  1. abner

    Sweet. I’m not giving up hope yet!

  2. Dave H.

    It’ll take a few five run homers, won’t it?

  3. mike

    the scary part is that this makes more sense than the stuff Dusty actually says

    and nice one Dave H

  4. Sultan of Swaff

    Dick Pole fired according to Sheldon. Interesting that Walt would take one of Dusty’s guys away from him. Pole came off sounding like a guy who didn’t give a crap either way in the papers. He was old and tired anyhoo, let’s get some new blood in there.

  5. Sultan of Swaff

    Or you could theorize the only reason they fired Pole and not Baker was because they are going after Duncan in the offseason.

  6. Matt WI

    @Sultan of Swaff: But, after the fiasco with the baseballs and all the name calling, do you really think Duncan would want to come to Cincy? And, who would necessarily want to work for/with Dusty?

  7. Matt WI

    Jocketty:
    “At this point going forward, we’re making a change and we’ll leave it at that. There are no specific reasons. We really don’t have a clear candidate [as a replacement]. We’re going to formulate a list and try and find the right guy that can be with this organization a long time. We’ve got some young pitchers coming along. We want to make sure we find the right guy to help develop them.”

    I know that they aren’t going to villify Pole in public, but you can read the phrases “no specific reasons” and “no clear candidate” and have fear about the long range plans this organization has.

    And serioulsy, Jacoby is keeping his job? But I guess you can’t blame him for Willy leading off now can you?

  8. Dan

    Wow… astounded that Jacoby kept his job. Generally speaking, the pitching has been middle-of-the-pack this year, while the hitting has been atrocious.

    Team averages (in a hitters park): .246/.316/.392

    That’s 15th/15th/12th in the NL (out of 16 teams) if you’re keeping score at home.

  9. preach

    Maybe they can get LaRussa as an ‘advisor’ to Dusty the way Jocketty was an adviser when sweater vest was GM. “He’s just there to advise the front office, Dusty. Relax,”

  10. preach

    There are no specific reasons. We really don’t have a clear candidate [as a replacement].

    “We don’t know why we are doing it, or what we are going to do next, but by God we did something.” (Jerks knee)