From The Onion:

CINCINNATI—The Cincinnati Reds (61-58) officially put their names forward as 2006 NL Central division champions Wednesday, after sensing that if they didn’t offer to finish in first place, no one would. “We just figured that the Cardinals would do it again since they’ve been the ones doing it the past couple years, but they don’t really seem to want to this season,” Reds manager Jerry Narron said. “It’s been a while since we came in first, so I guess it’s our turn. No way are we doing it next year, though.” Narron and his team also volunteered to get swept by the Mets in the first round of the playoffs.


3 Responses

  1. Ken

    The Onion’s “Randy Johnson Asks Chien-Ming Wang For Some Pitching Advice For A Pitcher Friend Of His” headline is pretty good, too.

  2. Don Wisenor

    The Onion is great. On the other hand, it would so cool if a barely-over-.500 Reds team could beat the Mets in the playoffs, reversing what happened in 1973.