From the You Have Got to Be Kidding Me Department:

Skipper Dave Miley, who has essentially slept through the first two months of the season, took decisive action to right the Reds ship Tuesday. Strangely, he took this action after a rare Reds win.

What did he do? He took away Dunn and Jr’s massage chairs. Because that is why the pitching’s been so bad, and why LaRue and Casey can’t hit.

Dunn was funny about it, but seemed ticked off:

“I don’t know where they’re hiding it,” Dunn said of his chair. “I need it, though. My back hurts. It’s therapeutic. That’s what they’re there for.”

What followed for Dunn was an equally therapeutic lament over the loss of his beloved chair. The big left fielder looked as though he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Poor little guy,” he said, looking at the spot where the chair once sat. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t complain. He just came to play every day.”

“So now we’re going to start winning,” he said. “It was the chair’s fault.”

He was asked if the chair was also designated for assignment, giving the club 10 days to trade, release or outright it to the Minors.

“He probably wants to be traded,” Dunn replied with a laugh.

Though a tad distraught, Dunn found humor in the situation.

“And we even won last night,” he said. “Imagine if we would have lost. I might not have a glove.”

I’m not making a federal case about it, but if you do enough petty, pointless things like this, Dunn may just remember one of them when it’s time to negotiate a long-term contract.

6 Responses

  1. Tyler

    Idiot. Unless this is a practical joke, he’s dumb as a stick. You don’t take away a chair from your superstar. Especially when he’s the only one playing well.

  2. Dave Charles

    And the soap opera continues.

    Tomorrow Dapper Dave is giving the “lollygag” speech from Bull Durham.

  3. Heath

    Next, Dave Miley doesn’t give dessert because Dunn didn’t finish his plate after the post-game meal….

    Jack McKeon woulda let Dunner have the chair…

  4. Chad

    I was logging on to post about this, but you beat me to it, Chris. Simply absurd.

    From the sound of the article, Junior was mad about it, too, but he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut. He couldn’t have deflected his anger with humor like Dunn, and he would have been attacked for months.

  5. Heath

    Interesting thoughts from “Popo” on his blog – nice easy link to Redleg Nation as well…..

  6. Glenn

    If the Reds get bogged down over the subject of vibrating chairs in the locker room, this season really will be lost. Maybe the Reds should start another reality based TV program. How about something along the lines of American Hot Rod. We could watch a bunch of highly paid specialists piss and moan about management and their unreasonable demands, while their out racing gocarts, paid for by the boss.